Dr. Litchfield's Journal

Episode 102 Shortly before the Bonfire

I am not crazy. This has to be my base premise. If I am insane, then I belong back in Littlemore. I will not go back there. So therefore, I must act on the premise that I am sane, as the alternative is unacceptable. Therefore, I am not crazy. It's simple logic really.

Given the fact that I am sane, I can only conclude that something very dangerous is going on. There was a thing outside my office a couple of nights ago. It seemed to be stalking me, toying with me. I think it is imperative that I record what I know about it. I never did get a good look at it. But I know it was tall, taller then I am. It walked on two legs, was furry and had claws. It also made a deep growling noise. I attempted to record the sound, but my memo recorder did not have sufficient fidelity to do so. It approached and stalked me, and dragged it's claws against the wall.

Since my encounter, I have verified the existence of the claw marks it made on the wall. I have also checked them against the arm I acquired in Ireland. They match, at least within the level of variation I would expect within a given species. And there have been other incidents. There was an attack inside the athletic center, where weights were reportedly buried in the wall. And there was also the attack in the ATO house.

What can I conclude from available information. It is strong. All three incidents indicate a strength well above Human average. It has claws and fur. It walks on hind legs. It has some degree of intelligence, given its apparently choosing targets and it's ability to avoid discovery.

These qualities fit no animal known to science. But they do fit two types of creature known to the cultural fabric. And only one of them has stretches to both the Native American Myth set and that of the British isles. While it sounds insane, I cannot help but wonder if I have encountered the inspiration for the stories of the werewolf.

I am not crazy. I know I am not. Now I just have to prove it.

I suspect that we might have another incident at the Bonfire tonight. I am afraid that this might be worse then the previous encounters.

Episode 102 The Morning After

I am at a loss for words. The night of the Bonfire was worse then I would have ever imagined. Much student debauchery happened in the first part of the evening, but it was mostly what any professor who does not have their head in the sand would expect. I had to rescue a young woman who had drunk too much, but with Henry's help we prevented anything actually untoward from happening. With Henry's help I was able to get her away from the two Fratboys who had here and get her sent back to campus. I'm glad I was able to get her out of there before what was to happen.

I have delayed enough, so I might as well write it out. Werewolves are real. Not in the sense of berserker warriors taking on wolf like behavior of the Norse Ulfhedinn, instead it is something much more concrete. Shapeshiffting werewolves are real, and something I have seen with my own eyes. The Bonfire desceneded into chaos when Renee came running in covered in blood.

Instead of reaching out to help my students, I documented what was happening in front of me. I took pictures of everything I could see, trying to record a wolf attack that was so much more. I must have used half a roll of film recording a disemboweled wolf as it transformed into the body of Cecil Eversley, a bartender at Crossroads. The other wolves behaved abnormally, bypassing easy targets to attack people further in. Once came up to me while I was down on the ground, and then moved on. It also appeared that their were two separate groups in conflicting with each other. This implies that one group was attacking and the other was trying to stop them. Possibly they were there to defend us, but it would not do to make such an assumption without further evidence.

I should feel guilty for not helping my students, for blithely ignoring the danger they were in, but I do not feel any guilt at all. Whatever help I could have given is nothing next to learning about the beasts that attacked us. If anything I feel vindicated. I was right, there is something hidden in this world. And I seem to be enmeshed in it. I must know more about these werewolves. I have so many questions. How does their Biology work? How do they handle the apparent mass difference between a fully grown wolf and an adult humans weight? What sort of culture do they have? Are they truly a separate species or are they spread by some form of infection vector? The questions are endless and I will have answers.

I would say that this is proof I was not crazy, that I was not delusional. But I cannot say that. I woke up in the middle of nowhere, having come out of some sort of fugue like state. I have no idea how I got there, but the crows were waiting for me. The crows seem to be always waiting for me.

Episode 103

It appears that several individuals who were bitten at the party have been infected with what can only be called Lycanthropy. I have yet to isolate the direct cause of the condition, other then the fact that it appears to be transmitted via bite. Those bitten do not always express Lycanthropy. While some become werewolves, other individuals will get sick and in several recorded instances will die after infection.

Those who begin to express Lycanthropy exhibit a number of changes in startling short order. Their sense begin to alter, notably both smell and hearing. They have accelerated healing, having completely healed from the original bite in less then a day. Their metabolism has altered to the point where alcohol seems to have no significant impact. I also believe that they can cause claws to grow out of their hands. Most significantly as I witnessed at the bonfire they should be able to physically alter their form to that of a large wolf. I doubt that what I have directly verified so far is a full picture of what being infected with Lycanthropy has altered in them.

While those affected exhibit some very significant enhanced capabilities, they also suffer from some unique weaknesses. Werewolves seem to have a severe allergy to Silver, the merest touch of the metal seems to burn them. In addition they seem to suffer from wild mood swings, subject to severe rage. I suspect that their condition might have some form of hormonal imbalance, but I have neither the facilities or knowledge to test this.

So far I have verified that both SXXXXXXXXXX and WXXXXXXXXXX are affected. I am going to encourage the two of them to work together to try and come to terms with their affliction. I believe that if they will work with me they might be able to find some way to cope with what is happening to them. And, in helping them I should be able to gather more data on what effects their condition has. I am concerned that I might not have sufficient resources to properly aid them. If that is the case, we might have to seek one of the werewolves involved in the bonfire attack. I was informed that a woman named AXXXX turned into a wolf at the bonfire. If need be, we can confront her and try to gain some answers.

To my mind their is one overriding question. Why have their been no reliable scientific reports of the existence of werewolves before now. There are only three probable explanations. The first is that the scientific community has simply missed their existence. . While scientists continue to discover new species, they are all in remote locations far from mankind. Given the fact that they will by default have some interaction with the humanity as a whole, I find this to be unlikely at best. Second, werewolves could be a very new phenomenon. However, this is also unlikely. Between my find in the Conigar bog and the prevalence of werewolf myths from numerous pre industrial societies this indicates they have been around for a very long time.

That bring me to the third possibility. Anyone who discoverers them is actively silenced. This could be due to either direct action by some form of community of werewolves or it could be due to pressures within the academic / governmental community. The more I think about it the more convinced I am that silence is being enforced. I believe I will have to keep my findings very close to my chest until I know more. If I do publish, I will need to have a preponderance of irrefutable evidence, and I will need to have some level of independent verification.

I am not ashamed to admit to feeling out of my depth in this issue. I am not a medical doctor, and I do not have the resources to properly analyze what is happening to Stella and Warner. I will try to do what I can to help them, but I fear that will be greatly limited. But I have no choice. I can neither turn my back on them or the mystery of their condition.

Episode 103 Downtime, Week 1

I am increasingly frustrated. I can find no biological agent for Lycanthropy. There are no signs in Subject S's blood work of any virus, bacteria, fungus or chemical. Anything that is working this level of change should leave at least some signs. The only thing I have been able to identify is a high red blood cell count and a highly elevated levels of Oxygen Saturation, which I would have expected with what appears to be an increased metabolism. But there is nothing that I can find in the blood work and what examinations I have given Subject S that would account for the reported tissue regeneration. I wonder if I could convince her to let me give her a slight cut and observer the healing process. Taking blood samples during this might give me some clue as to the actual mechanism of healing. Now if I can just get her to cooperate.

And don't get me started on the actual shape shifting. There is no obvious sign of the structural changes needed to allow shapeshifting. There should be some muscular structures or organs that allow for the changing of forms. There is nothing that would allow them to change. worse then that, wolves top out at around a 100 lbs and several of the people at the bonfire were pushing closer to twice that. Matter cannot simply appear and disappear. I should be able to something that indicates this ability.

I am so completely in over my head on this. Damn it, I am a Biologist,not a Medical Doctor. I need a CAT scan. I need a medical ultrasound machine. I need an MD who has experience with living people. There has to be a scientific explanation for what is going on her, but I cannot find it. While I am researching occult tomes to see what they know, the explanation cannot be supernatural in origin. It cannot be.

Episode 103 Downtime, week 2

Atropopaic Warding makes no bloody scientific sense. There is no theory in science that should allow a few pieces of non aromatic plants to debilitate someone by their mere presence. Allergies do not work this way. But multiple sources that have been reliable on other topics all swear that this works. I will have to test it, with some serious effort.

And that means I must confront the elephant in the room. I had visions of disaster before the bonfire. There is no way I could have subconciously anticipated this event and tried to warn myself through dreams. I did not have access to nearly enough data to do so.

Episode 103, After the Dorm incident

I have decided to bring Neena fully into my confidence. To be honest, I think I need more help. This became obvious to me after I heard wolves holwing in the forest last night. If I had assistance, I might have bene able to track them to the source, and unravel some of the mysteries before us. I need more help then just Thomas. Neena has some of the training I need, and I know she is a capable research assistant. And I believe I can trust her. Between her, Thomas and myself we should be able to unravel who the preexisting werewolves are. I think we should work together more closely and compare our notes very carefully.

My first priority must of course be to helping those who have been infected with Lycanthropy. I think I can do quite a bit to help Subject's S, W and H at least avoid the worst of their symptoms. I was able to try a sedative on Subject H. It worked much better then expected, knocking him unconscious and keeping him so for well over an hour. I am endeavoring to distribute this to all the subjects as fast as possible.

I also performed a minor experiment on Subject H while he was unconscious. I create a short incision on his left hand, and was able to see his accelerated healing. I saw the wound completely seal itself and disappear in a matter of a minutes. While the cut was insignificant, it should have take several days to disappear completely. While observed under the microscope the healing looked completely natural, as if watching a time lapsed video of the healing process. I could find no causative agents for the acceleration, the cellular structure should not allow his kind of healing rate. . To be honest the entire situation makes me want to get thoroughly pissed and take the evening off.

Episode 103, After the Dorm incident, Second Journal

I have started a second Journal as I believe that certain secrets must be more closely held. I need to write them down, but I need to not risk this getting into the wrong persons hands. As will become clear later, I have reason to suspect more then one group of being involved in this business.

Earlier tonight I heard a Wolf Howl that spoke to me. As I listened to it, I could tell where it was coming from. I grabbed a few precautions and went to hunt it down (figuratively of course). When I arrived, I found what I can only describe as the meeting of the local Werewolf Club. In addition to Subject's S and W, there were also several other werewolves present. I won't name them here in the interest of security, but I found myself already quite familiar with many of them. They are quite conscious of their Privacy, even going so far as to conceal the identity of their leader, what they call an Alpha. They were calling my subjects to help them receive training in what they are. As an aside, the term subject seems inappropriate in this journal, in truth they seem to be more like wolf cubs then anything else. They are interested in helping all of them gain control over their inner wolf. A cause I cannot help but support enthusiastically. However, they claim this training is impossible without joining a pack.

Which leads us to the main problem. Packs are territorial. If the cubs wish to join a pack, it must be the Astoria pack. If they try to form their own, the older wolves will drive them out. If they do not join a pack, they will be driven insane by their inner wolf. This seems to be a high pressure sales tactic if I have ever seen one. But, I suspect they are mostly telling the truth. I think I will encourage the cubs to receive training, and do what I can to help Subject H outside of their influence. If nothing else he can act as a control for my observations.

Naturally, this meeting also proved that my theory about two groups of werewolves is true. The Astoria pack was driven at us by a group they refer to as the coast range pack. Most of the deaths of the Bonfire can be place at the responsibility of the Coast Range pack. They were drugged and driven into an uncontrolled state of blood lust near the bonfire, with the twin goals of injuring them and infecting more people with Lycanthropy. They also claim that the missing students were kidnapped by the Coast Range pack with the intention of indoctrinating them. That will not stand, not if I can do anything about it. To the best of my knowledge the Coast Range pack consists of Reese Tavis, an older man named Volk (Russian for wolf really quite droll) and a woman named Alice. It might be dangerous to go after them, but I will assist the Astoria pack in doing so.

Note to Self: Put aside research while I work on the Aerosolizing Wolfsbane.

On a Personal note, I am somewhat disturbed at how attracted I am to much of the Astoria pack. A couple members of the pack had already caught my eye, but now that I know they are werewolves, they seem even more interesting. I almost feel as If I am in one of those silly novels that my students always seem to be read. 50 shades of Twilight or some such. I cannot say that there are that many people on campus who I am deeply attracted to, finding two of them in the pack is too much of a coincidence. Luckily Avery is not one of them, that would just be too much. If by some chance he is the Alpha, I think I might just have to kill him. It would just be too much.

Note to self: hand Avery some silver and see what happens.

They think I may have wolf blood, but have not yet gone through the change. I don't believe they are precisely correct, but it is in my best interest to let them think what they will for as long as possible. It will keep me close to them, and might allow me to learn more of their society and nature. And more importantly it might alow me to help them, something they seem to sorely need. But despite what they think I doubt that what I am experiencing is the result of an incipient increase in fuzziness. The dreams, the visions, while disturbing just do not match what the werewolf cubs are experiencing.

And Neena is not to be trusted. I told her some of the truth earlier today, and she was too ready to believe. She didn't truly argue, and she could have. I can only suspect that she knew more of what was happening then she let on. And if that is the case, I must watch her closely to find out what she knows. Is it possible that she has connection to some governmental agency or group of werewolf hunters? As I have compartmentalized my journal's, so will I have to do with the information I share with Neena.

Episode 104, Written after the Cannery fight.

Work in Progress.

I have an attic. This should not be a profound statement. But it is. Last night I was on the waterfront with Avery and we were sharing a flask, we both fell unconscious. The crows spoke to me. I must find the treasure. When I woke up I were in an attic. Their were boxes everywhere. And piles of old books on top of a reading table. When Avery and I looked around we found a way down. We were in my own bloody closet, that I has spent so much time setting up as a book cage. How could I have missed something like an entire attic. I couldn't have. Did I know, did I lie to myself. I can only conclude that someone is toying with me, and it is starting to truly annoy me.

Avery says he doesn't remember being at the waterfront. I want to believe him, and with everything else happening I think I can trust his memory over my own. He lies. Except I know I was there. I know what I saw. So either I am deluded or he is. He lies. I truly fear that I am starting to lose my mind.

Also, what the bloody hell is the Treasure. I have had repeated visions, warning and the like in relation to it. Given the fact that my dreams warned me of the bonfire, I cannot help but feel that this is vitally important. And given the volume of warnings, it might be something even my dangerous then the bonfire. I am truly in over my head here, but I truly don't have anyone I can go to for help. The pack has understanding, but are myopic in their planning and vision. And I cannot burden the students with all of this. Just adapting to the changes they are undergoing is more then they can deal with.

Episode 104, The morning after the Cannery Fight.

I apparently know how to read Futhark. Which given the fact that I have not once in my life made more then the most cursory of studies of old Norse is truly disturbing. What in the name of god is happening to me. I would say that I am truly losing my mind, regaining it, except for the fact that the craziness I am experiencing has proven to directly relevant and applicable.

Episode 105, After the Blood Moon

I wish I could say that I was not insane. But now I know that would not be entirely true. But at least the voices in my head seem to be the cause of any trace's of insanity. And they are real. As best as I can tell, I am inhabited by a murder of crow spirits. I realize how insane that sounds, but it is accompanied by the ability to see in the dark and turn my hands into claws. All of which has been independently verified. Not to mention the other abilities I seem to be developing. I worry that the spirits caged inside me might cause me the same problems as the cubs, but it is so much better then doubting my own grasp of reality.

I had spent such a lovely Sunday afternoon, reading ancient texts that I might have subconsciously stolen, written in a Language I shouldn't understand. Please note that the prior sentence contained only a minimum of sarcasm, I really can't think of a better way to wile away a rainy costal Sunday. As the moon rose I heard a wolf Howl and knew that it was a howl of the hunt. I followed it to the Library in time to see him fighting Orlando, who yelled at me to get inside and free Henry. As I ran, I felt myself change and everything became so much more. By the time the two of us had gotten back outside, Olrand had his head bashed open.

I will kill Donaldo. There is no longer any doubt about that in my mind. The first time I shot him, I was trying to rescue my students. The second time I wanted him dead, and that hasn't gone away. I will kill him for what he has done. I will eat his eyes.

Episode 105, Downtime

I finally understand what I am. I am a Corvithrope, a Were raven. And having written those down, neither feels quite right. I think I much prefer the term Morrigan, even if it is more then a bit morbid. I am host to a bunch of crow spirits, and mine in particular seem to seek out the dead and dying. So far, other then the occasional slight slip, they have not tried to force me to act against my will. And I have no intention of letting them take control. My greatest priority at the moment is using my library to learn how they might be controlled. We won't stay caged. I suspect that I should take up meditation or something similarly new agey to try and control my inner bird brain. Eventually at least, but for the moment learning what I can about my condition seems more important.

Apparently, being a Morrigan is hereditary, which means I have some rather interesting skeletons in my family tree. Yes. We should dig them up. Not literal skeletons, more interesting buts of history. But we could learn from the bones It is always possible the exhuming my ancestors remains could provide some insight into genetic markers that leads to this condition. And then we can keep them in our home.

Moving on. I seem to have certain vulnerabilities, just as the cubs do. I won't write about most of them, other then to say that I can no longer drink Tea or anything else with coffee in it. I have no idea how I am going to manage to wake up enough to teach morning classes. I will manage, somehow. It feels wrong to me that I mourn the loss of Coffee more then I mourn the deaths of Orlando and Adia. Almost worse was how much better I felt after their funerals. I felt more alive after that then I have in a long time. Their tears taste sweet And I am done here. Shut up Polly.

Episode 106 - WIP

A conversation between two Anthropology Students.

Abby: Sarah, is it just me or has Dr. Litchfield gotten weird lately.
Sarah: She was always weird. Do you remember her lecture on digs in Ireland last year?
Abby: I mean weirder then usual for her.
Sarah: Not really, no.
Abby: Have you seen how you she spends a lot of time hanging out with Mrs. Jalo from the ATO house? SHe never used to do that.
Sarah: That's not strange. I have seen them at Kaffe all the time. Besides, I think Mama J is her source.
Abby: Source?
Sarah: For pot. You know that she smokes, right? Anyway, Scott says that Mama J is connected, so she probably sells to Dr. Litchfield. And you can't say any of that is weird for a University professor.
Abby: Fine. Fine. But you mentioned Kaffe, have you noticed that Dr. Litchfiled doesn't drink coffee or tea anymore?
Sarah: Ummm. No. I don't pay attention to what she drinks. Obsess much? Seriously, I think you are reading way too much into small things.
Abby: It's not just that. Look, you know how fucked up last term was. I mean between the bonfire, the car crash on frat row, and that ATO member who got hit by a car.
Sarah: Henry.
Abby: Yeah. Henry. Look. Dr. Litchfield was involved in all of that. At least as far as going to all of the funerals. She was at the Bonfire, I know she knew the ATO guy, and I have seen her talking to the survivors of the crash. It's like whenever death happens, boom, she's there. It's weird and creepy.
Sarah: Uh huh. She knew some of them, so of course she was there. Besides, she is writing that paper on cultural approaches to death. Huh. Funny thing is, I was at Henry's Funeral. She didn't look sad or curious. She looked pissed.
Abby: Yeah. That's part of what I am talking about, I have seen her a few times when no one is look9ng at her and she looks incredibly angry. But it's more then that. Did you see how often she got injured last term? Like she was moving badly a lot. Like she was getting beaten up or into fights or something.
Sarah: Maybe that's why she broke up with Avery. He doesn't seem like the type though. Besides, he looked pretty baffled by it at the Faire.
Abby: And don't forget how jumpy she was all last term, always looking over her shoulder. Quick to startle. After the term was over I walked up behind her in the hall and she nearly maced me.
Sarah: Seriously? Abby: Yeah. With what looked like some kind of homemade canister. And she moved quickly. Like you would not believe. She apologized for it, but I could tell she was bothered.

Sarah: Ok, ok, now that I think about It I know what you mean. I walked by her Lab after I got back from break. I could have sworn I saw her fondling some of the bones in there.
Abby: Bones? You mean the human remains?
Sarah: Yup.
Abby: Eeeew. See! She's gotten weirder.

Episode 203

I feel the need to start writing again if only to put my own thoughts in proper order.

The damned Monks ambushed me again.