Daimona's Journal

Arc X, Chapter X

Ok first off I hate bullshit politics, I hate people who try and use me and I hate people who think that spying into peoples minds is okay. Also vampires suck, and I don’t care what anyone else thinks I am not going to leave those pieces of garbage alone in the long run. For now though I won’t bother them, we have too many other fucking problems. This entry is not about any of that shit.

So after the great dinner fiasco, everyone was being sort of dumb. I mean Marbus was being Marbus, Kore had run off in a huff, and well everyone else was ignoring shit, so I pulled on some decent clothes and took off.

When I went to APT (one of my favorite clubs) and I was pissed as hell to see one of those goddamn little apple stickers on them. So then I went to Sliver and I saw another of those fucking stickers. S.O.B’s – sticker. The loft – sticker. R&R – sticker. By this point I was starting to get fucking pissed. The fuckers even had Crobar. It’s bad enough that the vampires were in the city but they had kicked me out of my favorite night spots. So I ended up in Level V which is not my first choice but I don’t fucking get my first choice do I. Damn vampires. I mean Level V is okay if you like that whole swanky money falling out of my ass while I dance to music that really wants to be good and up to date kind of shit. Anyway I went in and danced to a few song and with a few okay guys. And then I met this fucking hot guy. I mean he was like six three, six four something like that and he was built. The man obviously worked out not one of those scary steroid freaks either but I could feel his six pack while we were dancing. And he had this nice kind of spikey black hair, that didn’t look like it was soaked in gel. And he is one of the people who should be allowed to wear tight fitting leather. So we dance until four in the morning, and then we went back to his place and fucked all night. I woke up a few hours after he woke up, slipped out of bed and into my clothes and then I snuck out of his apartment. His place wasn’t to far from home so I had a nice morning run back.

You know I can just hear what Kore would say about my doing this. “Daimona, this isn’t at all proper, you hardly know these men.” And you know she’s got a point, but what the hell else am I supposed to do. I’m fucking 18 and I like sex. And there is no way in hell I can have a relationship. I am not about to sleep with any one else in the Cabal, and there is no way in hell I am going to date some sleeper and bring him into this mess we are involved with, sorry but I have a bit more sense then Storm on this. So what else can I do, if I want to be with anyone it has to be some good looking stranger. And I can’t even begin to say how much I am looking forward to when Violet and Marbus have a falling out. Two mage who are in a pissy break up, oh that should be so much fun. Not.

Arc X, Chapter X

I can’t sleep tonight, so I am writing. I fucking hate politics and I hate vampires. But everything I do lately seems to deal with one or the other of these damned things. I am not going to write about the political bullshit going on lately, other then to say I had to stab some people I consider friends in the back to help protect them from the consequences of what they were doing. And I hated every minute of it but I had no god damned choice in the matter. And I feel like I don’t understand anything that is going on. I don’t understand or like politics, I know I was used, but what choices do I have. I need to find someone who can help me, someone who won’t use me and I don’t think any of my Cabal mates have the ability to really aid me with this. I just need to find someone I can go to. Ah, fuck it. I can figure that out tomorrow. But you know that’s nothing compared to the other shit going on.

A couple of nights ago, Kelly came over to visit when she received a phone call an had to go. Things were a bit suspicious so Marbus, Storm and I started looking into what was going on with her. I decided to follow her and was told by Marbus that she had been bitten by a vampire. So we followed her to this old house, and after she went in we went up and knocked on the front door, and demanded to talk to what ever vampire was screwing with her. So this ancient crone of a vampire comes out and starts talking shit to us, when all we did was ask her to free Kelly. And when we said we wouldn’t leave the bitch attacked us. So we fought her and we killed her, it hurt and she fucked with my mind and made Marbus try and kill me. But I burned her and Marbus hit her until she stopped moving, the two of us seem to be pretty damn good at fucking up shit that messes with us. Yeah, we sure can kill things, fucking wonderful. Anyway we rescued Kelly but not before that damn vamp drained her near to death. Luckily Storm was with us and we dragged her back to covenstead.

The thing is I can’t stop thinking about that night. Kelly could have died, and we just followed her in. We could have stopped her, explained what we had seen and then gone in to talk to the Vampire, but instead we fucking let her walk in. We put her at risk to find out what was going on, damn it I feel like such complete scum for doing that. And after the fight was over, after the vampire was dead I seriously considered killing the Vampires servants. Hell the only reason I didn’t was because I wasn’t sure it would accomplish anything or help to protect us. But didn’t they deserve to die, I mean they were helping a gods damned vampire to feed. I mean it wouldn’t have been really wrong for me to get rid of them, I would be protecting other people right? But, I knew Storm wouldn’t approve and I didn’t know, not for sure anyway, that killing them would accomplish a damn thing. So I didn’t do it, but every instinct in me screamed at me to make sure, and I still can’t say that those instincts were wrong. Damn it all. I think I need a drink, maybe that will help get some sleep.

Arc X, Chapter X

I haven’t written in a while because I don’t know how to say everything that’s going on. Things keep shifting and swirling about me without any way to follow the threads of it all, I feel like everything is in flux. I know that’s not really the way things are but it certainly feels like it. I mean even not counting all the shit that’s going on with the feast of wisdom, or the city vampires or new cabals coming in or any of that other crazy psychotic shit, life is still kicking my ass all over the place. SO a while back, I decided that I need money really badly. We never had enough money, for cabs, Lourdes needed to be paid and It’s sort of hard to buy a Jack and Coke with goddamn empty pockets. And well I don’t have any real job skills, and there is no way in hell I am fucking going to flip burgers in this city. I mean come on, I’m a fucking mage, there has to be a better way to earn money then a shit job. So the only things that the Mysterium trained me to do was use my magic and steal shit. And since I DO NOT want the Guardians crawling all over my ass, I figured I would need to pick up cash in a way that was fairly subtle. So I picked out a couple of major banks and started popping the locks on ATM’s using magic. The nice thing about it is that the way I did it makes it look like a job done by some sort of inside man. So I figure I grab a few thousand from a bank that has millions, and the bank is a bit short on profits. Boo fucking hoo. I bet they make that up in one day on outrageous fees alone. There was only one problem. The gods damned fucking Hierarch has interests in the bank I robbed. To say she was pissed is an understatement.

So I needed a quick and easy way to get the money back from her. I know I say, I’ll get the money from a Criminal. I’ll just go and rob one particular asshole mob boss. I mean what the hell could be worse then the hit he already has out on Promachus? One person was already killed in a drive by he was responsible for. So I have no problems taking a hell of a lot of money from this bastard. Everything went fine, with just one slight problem. He reports to the Lord of the Underworld. And when I say Lord of the Underworld. I don’t meant some little Italian Kingpin. I mean worshipped-as-a-God-by-the-Greeks Motherfucking Hades, Lord of the Underworld. Now Hades was pretty cool about the whole thing, and didn’t even ask for the Money that we stole, but he ends up building a permanent Connection to the entire Cabal.

Ok so the First time I try and steal any real money, I get caught By the Hirearch. The second time I get caught by an fucking God. What happens If I try and steal a third time? Do I piss off an entire order or Pantheon? I get it already, stealing is wrong. I don’t need any more concrete examples. If I try and rob anyplace that doesn’t hurt decent people it will piss off someone else, or cause them problems. I mean robbing the banks seemed okay until I realized I was causing the Hierarch problems. And really anytime I steal something I am going to end up hurting some one. It’s not like I have any more right to it then they do.

But! The Mysterium fucking trained me to use my magic to steal. How the hell is that so different? I mean what makes stealing Atlantean artifacts so god damned different. I’m still taking something that isn’t mine, and that the only right I have to it is because I’m a mage. But the student who had the time amulet got me thinking. I mean if he never had the thing, or If I had fucking gotten to him before he had become a sleepwalker, he would still be alive. And there is a lot of stuff out their that is just plain nasty if used improperly. Not to mention the dangers of Paradox from an imbued object. Hell if things go badly enough Paradox could end up killing some poor sleeper or sleepwalker. And it occurs to me that there is a lot of shit that the people who “own” it would be better off not having. And I don’t mean just dangerous magical stuff. But there are things that people just shouldn’t have. Kore told me about this story called “The Pearl” by some guy named Stinebeck. The idea is this guy found this really valuable pearl, and at the end of it his kid ended up getting killed because other people wanted it. And shit like this happens all the time. People will get a hold of something, and hold onto it because it’s important to them, without ever considering whether or not it’s any good for them.

So maybe just maybe, the difference between good and bad stealing has nothing to do with the person taking it. Maybe it’s all about the impact on the person who has the object taken from them. Maybe If I only stole things when it was to benefit someone other then me, I could know that what I was doing was righteous. And so I don’t think I’m going to steal things to make my life easier. If I need money, or some piece of jewelry, I’ll just fucking earn it or buy it. Now if lives depend on it or someone has some deadly magical object all bets are off. And If I think stealing something would benefit a person, I’ll do that too. But I’m not going to profit off of it.

Arc 2, Chapter 9

(This Journal is Written as Daimona sits in Goblins room, during the hours before dawn, as she watches him sleep)

Tomorrow is midsummer, no excuse me today is Midsummer, and I am afraid. A yeah ago the mages of this city disappeared with no real trace, most of the sleepwalkers were brutally murdered. And we still don’t know how it happened. We think we know what did it. The Cannibal Terror. We think it ate their souls, their learning, their collected wisdom. But we don’t know how. In all our explorations, with everything we have learned, we still don’t know what the fuck we are facing here or how to defend against it. And I believe that it is without a doubt coming for us, and we still don’t know how to fight it. And I know that something will happen today, something horrible. Something is coming for us, whether it’s the Cannibal Terror, or some servant or even just an echo of the first feast of wisdom., something is coming. And I don’t know how we can fight it. I… I don’t know how I can fight it, how I can fight something that feeds on others. I don’t think we can win this, I don’t think we are prepared enough. All I want to do is run, but I have too many friends here. Too many people who depend on me. I can’t back down from this. I have to face it. But I don’t think I am going to survive this. I have to try, but I really think I am going to fail at this.

Damn it, if we can’t even defend ourselves, how the hell are we supposed to protect the sleepwalkers who depend on us. Damn it why did Kore allow Ms. Edith to come into town. Why don’t Promachus and Storm send Jake and Kelly away? We all saw what happened before, how the sleepwalkers were brutally murdered. Why the hell is everyone letting the people they love be close to them? How the hell can they do that? We can’t shield them, and when the Feast happens all over again they will just be killed. Can’t they see it, if you get close to people who can’t defend themselves then all that will happen is that you will see them die. That if you are lucky you will die defending them? Don’t they understand? When we fight this thing, if we lose, everyone we love in this city will die.

And I don’t see how we can win when a city full of powerful entrenched mages was destroyed without a whimper. The Cannibal Terror is coming and I don’t see how we can win. But I am willing to die trying.