Jo's Journal

Backstory

Josephine "Joe" Masters

Uncle Joe Walt is was a career soldier, he joined the military in 1982 and retiring in 2000. He grew up on the same street as Daniel Masters, attended school together, were drafted together, but Daniel left the Marines as soon as he could, married his sweetheart Daphne Parks, and started a family. His first and only child, born in 1988 after a series of miscarriages, was not the son he had hoped for, but he named her Josephine, regardless, and always called her Joe.

Daniel Masters was a dedicated Firefighter, and lost his life in 2001, dying in a fire. Daphne taught 3rd grade, and always hoped her daughter would be a little more like her, and a little less like her father. She secretly fears her daughter is a lesbian, and what would she do, then?

Joe turned to Uncle Joe as a substitute father after her father died. Attending Wayne State University on a Track scholarship, Joe worked nights and weekends with Uncle Joe, helping him set up his shop and, later, shooting range. After graduation, she took a job full time in his shop. Since, she has begun buying her way into a partnership, with the intention that she take over when he retires.

She still runs regularly, rides a high performance motorcycle, and loves the smell of gun oil.

Chapter One: Vampires Stole My Sister

I’m so tired. When Danny and Jimmy told me about Karol, I was worried. When the cops blew us off, I was mad. But, when I saw that... that THING that took her, I was – I don’t know. I was afraid. I was amazed. I was curious.

I know that violence can have after effects. I think I would have said yes to any man that came my way last night. Now, I am just – I don’t know. Alert? Wary? I feel very alive and feel like the world just got bigger, and I got bigger and smaller at the same time.

No matter what – I ain’t ignoring this. I will be ready.

-

I woke up and read my own notes. They really don't make no kind of sense and since the world is crazy, I think my notes gotta make sense. So, I will start over. Vampires are real, and one took Karol. I don't know if I should tell Uncle Joe. I don't know if he would believe me. I don't know anything. I think I will just keep it quiet and see.

I didn't really believe it neither, at first. I mean, vampires? But, a sicko slipping a cute girl a rufie? Oh, that is believable. From there, you get two possibilities. Either he rapes her for a while and moves on in the sure knowledge that nothing will happen to him or he rapes her and kills her. Either way, I couldn't let that happen. The very thought makes so mad that I had to do something, no matter how crazy.

So, when they said vampires, I was willing to roll with it. Vampires or human monsters, we were going to do something. But, Lady D's man, Luther, he believed in Vampires, so we took his post-mortum advice and got ready to deal with the vampire. We went to the hardware store and I bought a machete for Danny. We also got some bug spray and lighters. I just hope they don't blow up in our hands. I also grabbed all my guns, then we hit the club.

I am still kinda surprised, but we found a trail. We were following along real well, too, until Danny decided to think with his dick instead of his head. The fucking show-off leaps the building to show that he could, and landed RIGHT ON THE TRACKS! Men can be so stupid! Fine. We lost the trail, but we had a kind of heading and there was really only one place he could have gone and it went right through one of those rare pockets of civilization in Detroit, so we started asking questions.

Lady D and Oz got distracted by nostalgic bling, but I found a kid who told me about Super Whitey. Since Jimmy and Danny (and the trailed we followed until SOMEONE ruined it) said he did parkour, it sounded like our perp. Perp. I am saying perp. This is crazy, but what else can I say? Bad Guy? A little over the top. Asshole? Too general. Target? A little too real.

We found his building and the entrance was a few stories up. Danny showed off and the rest of us climbed. Lady D stayed in the car, waiting to push SEND on a 911 call and Oz came along to keep us maniacs from killing a pathetic bum. Expect, he was a vampire. And he saw me coming. I need to work on that. But, he really was a vampire, not some extreme goth rapist. I mean, I shot him, and I might as well used BBs for all the good it did. The flaming bug spray? That worked. I am still not sure how it all went down - it was so fast. But, Danny got hit bad and I shot a can and it blew up and then he mummified or rotted or something. I mean, he went from fresh corpse to cold case just like that.

We grabbed Karol and there were two other girls and Oz fainted and we carried him out and put them in the car and the rest of us walked a bit and took a cab because we didn't want to be there when the cops that Lady D called arrived.

And, he was a real vampire. And I don't know what that means.

But, I am NOT a victim. Never again. And I sure as hell ain't food. So, this bloody juice box is gonna figure this out. I will find out what is out there and learn how to kill them. I can do this. I learned how to kill men, it should be easier to kill monsters. I won't have to worry if I am mistaken, cuz they're monsters. And I am not food.

Chapter II: From Victim to Vampire: Magdalena

We went down to Lady D's for dinner and a basement. Danny still looks like hell and me and Uncle Joe told him he has got to learn to shoot. He went on about how they would have to catch him and it was so stupid. You can't outrun a bullet. And, I don't think he could outrun a vampire, neither.

I give him a lift and I slip some money to Robert cuz Lady D won't take it and we have dinner. Lady D didn't want to talk about vamps and I don't blame her. I didn't either. Except I did. It's like something so gross you stare at it while wishing you had never seen it. But, we finally went downstairs and the door was a helluva door. I mean, it looks like wood but is metal and I think our range is less secure than those room.

Someone had been there. There was tools missing and books and a map and Robert knew something. He told Lady D he hadn't but he had and she believe him until he fessed up and then she was mad. I would be, that's sure. And I was. Oh, that room made me mad.

There's a picture that Lady D found on the desk. It had Luther and a college guy and a woman in it with this man-bear thing. And it had Jimmy's dad and mine.

Dad wasn't a hunter, he was a Hunter. And I just don't believe in that much coincidence.

Luther and Dad and Jimmy's dad died within 6 months of a each other. No way. And Robert knew. And his wife knew. And she died of it. Like 6 vampires killed her. And Lady D looked like she wanted to kill Robert.

Robert made weapons and he said he hadn't really known anything, just made them. And he didn't do the ammo. The weird ammo. Rock salt. Mistletoe. Mistletoe ammo. And Uncle Joe came home a year before Dad died. And them bullets look like our work. And I think Uncle Joe was in on it, so I grab one and Danny tags along with a cross-bow he wants to play with and we go and Uncle Joe says it's his work but he don't know nothing.

I think he is telling the truth. I know I want to believe him. But, Lady D believed Robert and he was lying to her. He told me he didn't want to know nothing, and I can't decide if he is covering his ass or he knows and doesn't want to admit it.

I left so mad and upset I didn't know what do to so I made Danny teach me a little parkour until I wasn't so mad. We worked a little on his cross-bow but that boy is just a natural. He starts by hitting the bulls-eye so I took my gun and shot a few places and he was able to match my hits with his shots.

I'd hate him if he wasn't so sweet. I worked my ass off to be a solid shot and he just picks up a cross-bow and goes all Olympian.

-

Oh, shit. I just got a text and I forgot. I forgot what Jimmy told us yesterday. Magdelena's body got snatched. And what if she is a vampire? We gotta check it out. Cuz she might be a vampire, and it might mean that Sadie and Karol are gonna turn and what would we do then?

-

So, I go over to Lady D's place and she acts like it is a social call and makes with the sandwiches. I guess that's how she copes. Maybe I should teach her to shoot, too. She asked me about Danny and went on about how good an athlete he is. I told her that he will be a good shot someday. I just didn't say that day was today. I know it's irrational, but pisses me off how easy he makes it look. But, since Magdelena's body is gone, I wish he had been there.

I called Clara and asked about her body, and she told me that it got swiped and the assistant is dead and it looks like his throat was cut or torn out. And it pisses me off. We saved her, but it was too late. And now we have to go hunt this sweet girl down and I just hope she is a monster now because if she is a confused baby monster I don't know how I will kill her.

I just couldn't sit there like Lady D and read some books so I go to the hospital and waste my time there. That place is stupid big. I got lost and walked around in circles for a while. Then, I finally got smart and found the morgue. There are almost no cameras in that hospital. None. But, I found the staff exit near the morgue and I figure she went that way, so I text Jimmy and he says that a witness saw her in the 'hood near by.

We meet up and start pounding the pavement and spreading some green. I found a homeless guy whose shoes got snatched and it might be Magdelena cause she was seen barefoot in scrubs. After that, I wasted my time and money learning jack. Shit, I really wanted to find her before dark, but it don't look good. Lady D and the rest come and she give us some more cash and we were doing okay until Oz tries to talk street and I have to convince the guy not to beat the crap out of him. I swear, how stupid can you be?

Meanwhile, Lady D is going on about Danny and what a sweet guy he is and how good an athlete. What set that off? I guess she just scared and tryin' to make it okay with chatter. She really is a sweet lady, even if she is real sad, too. But, she got a shitty deal with her man dyin' and then we find out about vampires and her Becca and I don't really blame her for getting crazy.

And Becca, that still hurts. We were tight, ya know? Me, and Becca, and Rebecca used to be better than sisters. Becca was so smart and driven but taking on vampires alone ain't smart. I guess she figured she had her man but I wish she came to me. But, I wasn't me yet, neither. I was still a mess after that night and she likely thought I couldn't handle it. But, she knew. She knew about Dad and didn't tell me. And, I am still mad. I had a right to know, and she goes off and dies and I am mad at her over it.

I don't have time for this shit.

And it's getting dark and we have a whole lot of nothing. Well, I finished my coffee and better get moving again. This vampire isn't going to come find me, after all, and I need to find her before she kills again.

Chapter II, Part Two: Vampire Triumvirate

Well, I guess I know why Lady D was goin’ on about Danny being sweet. See, when we tracked down Magdalena, we found her in a Catholic church and tried to talk to her. She was really confused, didn’t really know what she was doing and what it all meant.

That woulda been plenty bad, but three older vamps crashed the party. One looked like a kid, maybe 14 – Miles. Another was a chick called Shauna. I don’t remember the other’s name – he died fast.

They saw us, see, and knew we were hunting for M. So, we tracked her and they tracked us. When we talked to them, I thought they were offering to vamp us out and I said, ‘No.’ Looking back, though, they was gonna kill us all, just wanted to have some fun with us first.

So, the chick and the nameless guy come in and change and Oz dont’t pass out (good) and runs off (bad) with Lady D (no surprise). The third guy stays out and I am thinking that he cannot come in. So, one of them makes a grab for Danny but that boy can move when he wants to. So, Jimmy shoots him and it does no good. I shoot him some more and the silver smoked a little. I was hoping for combustion but I will settle for not healing over. Then, Danny pulls that cross-bow and wham! The vamp and the quarrel go up in smoke, though we get the head back later. Yuck.

So, Miles-the-Door-Vampire tells his girlfriend to get out there and they will torch the place. She jets and we all inside need a plan. I can’t see Lady D and Oz but I be lookin’ around for trouble and I find it in the second story window. I think the burning jibe was a threat to get us outside where Miles can get us, ‘cause it takes TIME to smoke a building like this one and I don’t think they come prepared.

So, I shoot at Peeping Shauna and she drops out of sight again. Theres a lot of noise outside and I find out later that Lady D, hearin’ about burnin’ buildings falls for that shit and ran outside. Miles goes meep and tries to kill her. I guess she can move, too, cause he don’t lay a tooth on her, but he slices Oz real good when he runs out to rescue her.

Then, that bitch Shauna runs in and – look, it is – I can’t explain. I knew it was bad news, but her touch; it was the best drug ever. It’s like an orgasm while going down on dark chocolate. I couldn’t think, didn’t wanna think. Even when she BIT the HELL out of my NECK it didn’t matter too much. But, it mattered enough and I come to and she is using me as a human shield while taking a snack! That is fucked up.

I try to get away but she be strong and I kinda loose it. ‘Cause that is fucked up, ya know, to take away my will and – I don’t wanna talk about that. She’s dead and I’m alive and fuck her and her kind.

Anyway, this is all about Danny, really. So, I am slow dancing with Sucky Shauna and he finally gets his crossbow reloaded and shouts, “Let go of my Jo!” And shoots her right over my shoulder in the face. I could smell and lemme tell you, burning vampire is nasty. But, see, I think Danny is sweet on me. And what am I gonna do about that? And why don't he say nothing to me?

Anyway, she don’t let go and Jimmy tries to do that same with my shotgun that I done dropped when – when I dropped it. Well, maybe true love or true crush or whatever got power ‘cause Jimmy shoots me instead. Asshole. I know he meant well but, really?! Still, I woulda told him to shoot anyway cuz we was dead if they don’t kill them and better I die than us all die. But I ain’t gonna tell him that!

So, Jimmy shoots me and then Oz comes back with that stupid sabre and cuts half her face off. Well, she finally lets go and I think I am in shock because all I can think is that I need to call 911 and can’t remember how to do it. Then, Lady D runs back in from wherever with a candle jar and dumps holy water on that bitch and, foom! She goes up in flames and Oz cuts off her head. Miles runs inside and now I know why he stayed out.

When I was a kid, I read these old Kool-Aid comics. There was the Kool-Aid Man, a buncha kids, and a brother named Scorch. When he walked, his footprints burned the ground. Miles went Scorch and runs in like a crazy super-villain. Jimmy takes a shot at him and we lucky he don’t kill us all. Man needs more practice and I am to tell him so! I get my head in gear and pull out my Glock. I hit (thank you very much, Jimmy) but it ain’t silver and don’t do jack. He streaks over to Oz and – I think Oz almost died. A little lower and it would have got his gut. A little higher and it woulda hit an artery.

Jimmy finally gets his ass in gear and shoots that fucker and he goes up like a roman candle. I grab Oz’s sabre and hack at him until his head falls off. It took a long time. When I look up, Lady D has the church’s First Aid Kit and is working on Oz while Jimmy tries to patch up Danny. Lady D come over and they get him stable and I call Uncle Joe and tell him we headed to the hospital. Lady D gets on the horn and starts wailing about gangs and violence and a buncha bullshit. When we arrive, the only thing missing is a red carpet.

Danny and Oz and me went in to surgery. I got a private room for a few days and Danny and Oz hung out in the ICU. We all got guards. Seriously, I had a uniform outside my door day and night while I was there and had to get permission to see Danny and Oz. I guess Uncle Joe told the cops that we was comin’ and set it up.

It is real helpful to have friends on the force and don’t let no one tell you different.

The cops wanted to know what happened and I talked vague. You can get away with that when you're on the good drugs. They sent me a sketch artist and I gave the best descriptions I could. It is real useful to know that the bodies take care of themselves. There is no better lie than the truth, after all. Mama come by and she upset. I couldn't tell her what happened, not really. I don't like keepin' it from her but she don't wanna know. If she knew about Daddy she woulda said somethin' when I got bit like that.

And I was mad at Becca cuz she didn't tell me but I can't tell no one. How do you explain that the boogie man is real?

I been spending my spare time over at St. Florian's. I need me all the help I can get. If holy water worked for Lady D then maybe a little rootwork be good for me.

I be practicing practical shooting. Screw competition style, I need to be ready. I been working on getting my gun out and ready quicker. I am real lucky to have Uncle Joe to teach me.

I been having some nightmares. And the worst don’t feel like nightmares till you wake up. I dream of that touch, the ecstasy of it. I ain’t never tried X but I bet it don’t compare. I hate those dreams. What kinda sick fuck dreams about being eaten by a vampire?

Chapter Three: Black Betty

I couldn't take it no more, so I decided to talk to Lady D. I really should be talkin' to Mama, but I can't tell her about hunting, so I can't tell her about the rest. She was real good about visitin' me, and would bring me goodies what she snuck past the nurses.

I just wanted to talk to her about Danny but I couldn't make any sense without getting into that night. I asked her if she ever did drugs, and she told me in her way that, yes, she had, but it was the 70s and everyone did. I think she was worried about being a bad example for me, but I ain't never really been into drugs.

But, I told her about the vamp, and that night, and I about freaked talkin' 'bout it. But, she didn't look at me like that. Anyway, I told her I never thought about Danny like that, or anyone anymore, really, and I didn't want to be unfair to him. She thinks I should just tell Danny about that night and why I am scared. And, I think she be right. 'Cause I have to trust Danny. Danny, and Jimmy, and Oz, and Lady D have to be more than friends, more than family. We gotta be tight, and if I can't trust Danny, I might as well go dig a hole and pull it in after me, 'cuz I got no chance at life.

I want to talk to him, but it has to wait 'til Oz don't share a room with him.

So, I go back to work and I spend a lot of time practicing. I felt like a Wild West gunfighter, makin' with the quick draw. But, I think it's payin' off. I been gettin' better about making a quick and accurate aim down the range. Then, Jimmy comes in with a new cross-bow he built. It loads like now and is real accurate, too. I still prefer a gun, but it ain't too shabby!

That cross-bow made Uncle Joe suspicious and he starts givin' me the third degree and I tell him that he can't keep his head in the sand and have answers, so he's got to choose. We went back and forth and he finally asks for it strait, so I tell him that vamps are real. He starts to gimme shit but stops before I have to slap him. He asks me for proof and I tell him what I saw, what happened, and he says I sound like my dad. I'm like, duh, I got it from him, really.

He don't really believe me but he tells me I ain't going out with what I think will be helpful, so he is gonna make me some silver bullets for my Glock. Good thing, too, 'cuz the hospital bill wiped me out. If I didn't live with Mama, I would be worried about making it through the month.

Then, Jimmy got this text from Karol and she be freaked at somethin' in the yard. So, he drives me over and we look around, but all we find is a 'coon. We go inside to talk to her and she be scared. I make her some cocoa and try to calm her down. I don't want to tell her she seein' things, 'cuz maybe she ain't. I offer to let her sleep at my house, and she say no. And I offer to teach her to shoot, or hook her up with some self-defense classes, but she freaked at the very idea. We need to look at what happens to folk who brush the monsters. She don't really remember it as vamps, but it is still eating at her. I dunno if it is just a bad night or all the time. Jimmy be too dense to notice, so I gots to talk to her mama.

I go home after telling Karol that we gonna run next morning, but I get a message from Oz about ghosts in the hospital and so Jimmy takes me to Lady D's and we do some research. It was kinda boring and kinda awesome. Jimmy is crazy organized and we plowed them books deep.

Ghosts unlive a loop, haunt their death, or stuff, or important places and have unfinished business. Or just a nasty death. I bet there be a ton of ghosts in Detroit. I bet we out-numbered. And, that scary because they hard to hurt. Salt and iron help, but won't hurt them. You have to dig up their nasty ass and burn it. Or their thing that holds them... hook? Anchor? Exorcism don't really do anything - DEMONS?! - but you can kinda therapize them and get them to cross. And a whole buncha stuff, but it looks like you have to know the ghost to really do anything to it.

Lady D sent the boys a bag of cookies and a box of salt. I hate being here when they are there, but it sounds like I can't do nothing until we know more, and we have to hit the library or paper archives to get any dirt on Black Betty. So, we going to sleep and try again tomorrow. I hope they okay 'til morning.

Chapter III, Part Two: Salt and Fire

They were fine. Oz put his foot down and was out of there first thing. I went with Lady D and we went to get him. Lady D managed to sweet talk a doctor into playing nurse and I had a very awkward run in with Becca and Jessica. Wookie (for real? Wookie?) heard that Oz was getting out and told Becca to pick her up. Becca came but brung Jessie the Shrink. That woman is a crazy control freak. She wasn't there a minute before she was calling everyone irresponsible and telling them to move the the suburbs.

She makes some snarky comment about Oz needing a shrink and I blurt out that, even if he does, she can't be one to him. Everyone looked at me and I was sure it was gonna explode. Thank God, Lady D shows up right then and puts Jessica in her place. She grabs Oz and leaves; I stayed behind.

I wanted to have a chance to talk to Danny, but I couldn't. I just couldn't. So, after an hour of awkward boredom, I went to the Central Library and hit the books. Or, rather, the "Microfiche" room. Damn. If it had been modern technology, I would have felt old. Instead, I just felt stupid. I finally got a librarian to show me how the stupid things worked and made some progress.

Basically, that hospital been trouble since the mid-60s but the trouble stopped around Y2K. And, I found Black Betty. Dorris Carter was a nurse in the 50s, and she vanished one night. Other than her vanishing, nothing. But, the police were told, and so I called Clara. She got me access to Cold Cases for a dog biscuit and some time on the Range. Good people, Clara.

I thought the library was bad, but the cold case files were just that - files. Dusty, dirty, out of order, and not properly cataloged. I might have gone nuts, but Jimmy met me there. I think he must be descended from Mary Poppins, because he brought order to that chaos just be showing up!

We found out about Dorris, and it was fucked up. Hospital was being worked on and construction workers was buggin' the nurses. They told the cops but they didn't care. So, when Dorris disappears, they make up some piddly ass file and move on. But, Lady D calls her minions at the hospital and gets the history of construction and repairs on the hospital, with freakin' blue prints!

We figure she was killed and walled up in the basement. So, we grab the Ghost Gear - Salt, Iron, and Thermite - and head out. Danny and Oz stay behind, cuz they still injured, and Robert comes along. I never thought so well of him. He don't sneak for shit, but when he got caught, he gave the guy a line of bullshit and had HIM apologizing for bothering Robert!

We get down there, and it is a pit. No proper lights, dirty, musty, moldy, and would be the perfect haven for terrorists. Or, it turned out, Vampires. We found the lair of those three we capped. We also find some creepy books that I picked up.

And we found my Dorris woke up recently. There was some kind of binding done there, Dad and his gang, I bet, and it was messed up. They painted it in blood. I don't know if it was animal or human, but it was broke. So, we lookin' around for clues, and I don't know what I am looking for and I can't stop thinking about talkin' to Danny.

Then, Lady D gets out of her car and comes down here to look at the blood! Crazy woman knew she didn't belong - Dorris was killed by white folk and killed them right back. Half the reason we didn't bring Oz and Danny was that they White! Well, three guesses who shows up? Yeah, Dorris the Ghost tries to kill Lady D and we drive her off.

Over and Over. Yeah, salt works, but only for a second or two. She just keeps coming back, I'm standing in that salt hula hoop, and tryin' not to hit my crew. Robert starts poundin' on a wall and the opens it up and finds Dorris the Ghost and Dorris the Corpse. She screeches and she throws the wall at us. Lady D finished her salt circle but the bricks aint' impressed.

We torch the corpse and the ghost kinda catches fire and then she be gone!

It weren't right. Her death was wrong and she didn't get no justice. Course, neither did her victims, I guess, but it just don't feel right. Killing them vampires, that felt solid. Dorris? That was just sad.

We lit outta there and believe you me, Lady D is gonna hear about this one.

And, I still gotta talk to Danny. Shit.

Chapter IV: The Detroit Sewer Beast

I am such a fucking coward.

I have been hiding for two months. Am I hiding from monsters? No. I am hiding from someone who cares about me. And, I just can’t stand to think about it too much. Except I can’t stop, neither.

Okay, so a couple of months ago, Lady D tells me that Danny has a crush on me. Okay. So, I wanted to talk to him about it, but then the whole Black Betty thing happened and things were crazy. Danny and Oz still had tons of doctor visits, and Lady D goes on vacation before I can bitch her out, and the longer I waited the worse it got.

And, I really have been busy. I been spending time with Clara and Blackjack. I feel safe enough to go out at night with her around. I even gave her a cropped photo of Mr. Harvard and Ms. Flannel and she been running it through the system looking for matches. I been shooting and checking yearbooks and hiding.

I was invited to Danny’s birthday, and I just couldn’t blow that off. And, he has been looking for students and trying to get ahead. So, I go a little crazy and I buy him these stupid expensive shoes. Then, I buy him a trinket and give him that in front of everyone. I wanted to give him those shoes, but his ex was there, and his sisters, and I didn’t want to get into it.

So, I use my pre-fab excuse and leave early. But, I drop them shoes in his room where the will find them. But, the fool is afraid they left by fairies and won’t wear them. Meanwhile, he spends what little cash he got and buys me this little ship made of old casings. And, I ain’t even thanked him yet!

Well, I out of excuses now. And I think I need to pay more attention, cuz Uncle Joe is trying to hid shit from me. We was at the range and he tries to hide a news story. And I miss it. I know the man better than anyone, and I miss it. But, everyone else in the room notices.

Some poor lady got torn up. Marisa Dawson. In lots of pieces. It was sick, and not in a good way.

So, next day we hear Lady D is back and she is saved by the dismemberment. We meet up and I bring some food and, damn it, it’s Danny’s favorite: Strawberry Shortcake. What the hell is wrong with me? I am a strong and confident woman. Except I really chicken shit. Damn it.

We wanna check it out so I call Clara. She done had the worst day and really needs a drink. We go to the Blue Light and she is ready to unload. I don’t really need to ask much, just listen and respond like you do.

So, whoever done it done it quick. Like 30 seconds or some shit. No footprints, missing pieces, and a smell that Blackjack don’t like but can’t ID. Clara be spending time in the sewers. Nasty.

Next day her names in the papers, and we be wanting to coroner’s report. And my crew is all idiots. They say we gonna break in and steal the report. No, I am not breaking in to the forensic institute. So, then they want Jimmy to hack it. That is stupid. Jimmy knows cars and building shit, but he ain’t a computer specialist and the cops sure got one.

I hoping to get the goods off Clara, but I gotta be subtle. We ain’t technically broke no laws, but the law might not agree. So, I’m not sure what we gonna do, and maybe his ain’t our show, but we gotta check. Me and Danny go to the park with her. And I need to kill all my “friends.” They KNOW I don’t wanna be around him, but they go and make it impossible not to take him. So, I text them all and let them know what I am thinking: I hate you all. Fucking die. And Oz done changed Lady D’s settings to read her messages out loud as soon as she gets them. So, what does Danny hear? Yeah. Even Clara seems like she is in on it - I tell her I am bringing a friend, and she really wants to know: Boyfriend?

Oh, and we got Mr. Harvard. He is some professor dude named Mark Lindstrom, used to work at Wayne State, but left in 2001. He was arrest lots for trespass and once for carrying, but never got charged. He wrote a bunch of books, but none since 2007. I wish it was me what found him but it was actually the guest book from the funeral. I don’t know if he alive or dead. Whatever got Dad and the rest didn’t get him then, but who knows.

And, we have a name for Flannel, too. Gail.

Chapter IV, Part II: Tales from the Cryptid

Me and Danny met Clara at the park and Blackjack didn’t like him. Danny, the idiot, runs for it and Blackjack takes him down. Clara gets him off and Danny was off his head. I mean, he was fetal and yelling at me to run. He goes off a bit and and Clara asks me if he has drugs on him.

The idea is crazy. Danny? I mean, Danny?! Next thing I know, I am calling him Captain America and she is talking about his ass and - damn. He does have a mighty fine ass.

Focus, Jo. Okay, so Danny comes back and I am sweating - literally and figuratively - trying to think of a natural way to get her to talk. Well, things did get awkward after Danny so I made a show about asking about the murder. She don’t know much, and don’t want to. She called it Black Cat and that it is the kind of case you kinda get as a punishment. And that an officer Jacobson used to request them, back in the day. Stan Jacobson. Jimmy’s dad. Holy shit.

Then, I get real clever. I mean, damn, am I good. She was kinda talking about it and didn’t know much and then she says she figures it was an animal. I say I don’t believe it and bet her $20 she is wrong. She up and goes to her car, prints out the coroner’s report and tries to claim the prize.

She wrong, though. There is a tiny bite, maybe an animal, and a bunch of cuts more like from blades. But, she gives it to me to try and prove it and I read the whole thing. Then, I give it to Danny and ask him to arbitrate and he reads it over and agrees with me.

Then, we gonna leave and the bitch gives him her card and offers to fix tickets for him.

So, we leave and he mentions his friend Mike and a pair of shoes. I open my big mouth and tell him to wear the fucking shoes and he goes all moral on me and I tell him Mike didn’t give him those shoes. And he gives me a look and I say some stupid shit about elves and figures it out, turns bright pink, and thanks me. I can’t stand him looking at me, so I call him an idiot and walk off. And, the idiot agrees with me.

Well, we went back to Lady D's and she had been over at the university. She found an history professor who used to work with Mr. Harvard and got him to spill. His wife died, and he got really interested in hunting. And switched his focus from kings and warfare to folklore. Yeah. It is amazing how transparent it is to me, but he didn't see a thing.

Well, he lost a leg in an "accident" in 2001. I guess he is one of the lucky ones. I wonder if it was before or after dad died. Hell, it might be in the news - losing a leg is kinda a thing. Lady D got smart and ordered all of his book, but she did it like last century - she went to a bookstore. We won't see them for weeks. I love the woman, but seriously?

Danny and I told our story and I wish I could say I remembered the details from the coroner's report I got out of Clara, but I can't. See, Danny had just finished his OJ and was licking a drip off the side of his wine glass and, well, I got real distracted. I kinda wonder if I should just bang him. Maybe that would fix me. I mean, I either like it and keep him, or I don't like it and I am over him. Isn't that a win-win? I don't know, but this ain't gonna work, long term. I need a plan. I just wish I could ask someone who didn't desperately want me set up with him. I need a disinterested confidant.

So, we hashed it all out and sat down with the police scanner and a pile of books. Since there was a bite, we went looking for info on something called cryptids. That sounds like a bug in a tomb to me, but I guess they are weird animals. Like Bigfoot and the Loch Ness Monster. I am really smokin' hot at this research, too. I feel like I am miles ahead of everyone else. Whatever this fucker is, when I meet him, I will end him.

Chapter IV, Part III: Clara, Danny, and a Literal Cesspit

There. I done called Stefan. I gotta talk to someone about this shit. And how messed up is that, that I be more worried about Danny than the freakin' Sewer Beast. Seriously. Sure, SB is dead, but scary monster of myth and legend should really be more concerning than whether I go on a date or not.

Okay, so we after we hear the murder on the scanner, we head out. I am just sure Clara's gonna catch me and what will I tell her? I even suggest getting' some burgers nearby, just so I have an alibi. But, we don't. We find the spot, climb and building, and look down.

Danny swears it is a simple case of ganger-tug-of-war. I can't see shit. But, since we think it hit the sewer after the last hit, we find ourselves a nice storm drain that is not in the police perimeter and take a look. There some blood, and Oz takes a sample. Danny fumbles about and just about shouts something - I don't even know what. Heck, I started thanking him for it. I mean, if he stupid, maybe I get over him. I must have thanked him three times last night.

And, who is there and hears his noise? Clara and Blackjack. Of course. Any other officer wouldn't have been too bad, but its Clara. Danny makes terrified "nice doggie" noises and Clara tells BJ to be nice. She starts in on me and Oz starts in on BJ - even tries to give him some jerky. Clara and I both yell at him and I take the jerky. And Danny eats it. And Blackjack whines. And Clara ain't distracted.

So, she is puttin' it together. I got the report out of her and now I am here. She wants the truth and I just don't have it in me to BS Clara. I mean, not only does she got cop powers, but the woman is my friend. For now. So, I tell her I will tell her, but she ain't gonna believe me and I don't wanna do it here. She agrees and we tell her the cops need to be in this alley. She sees the blood and asks if we done touched anything. None of us are that stupid, so we skate and she brings over the cops.

I spend the night trying to think what I can tell her that be true but can't get me arrested. I decide that Black Betty is the best shot. No bodies, even creepy quick-desiccated bodies.

Next day, I get the call and come over. She asks me what is what and I tell her I think there be monsters in Detroit. Real ones. I show her our research and tell how, at the hospital, we saw a ghost. She is sure I crazy. I guess that is better than sure I am a homicidal criminal, but it hurts like fuck. I mean, my friend ain't gonna be my friend for long, I think. I didn't even realize it, but I really like her. And she be gone, or good as.

I babbled some shit about Dad and Jimmy's dad and she tells me to keep away from her crime scenes (duh) and that if I want to go into the sewers hunting animals, that is my business, but no vigilante work.

So, we decide to hit the sewer. What else can we do? We grab some fisherman gear, headlamps, and thank you Danny for the Vicks. Then, that asshole asks me to dinner. I am half-way down a storm drain on a monster hunt and he asks me to dinner! What is wrong with him?! Do I NEED this kind of distraction? Does he think this will help?!?

So, we head and I am chalkin' the walls as we go and we see claw marks and I think they were territory marks - like dogs and shit. She wander for a few hours and then we see this cesspit. And I could have lived a happy, fulfilling life without ever know that those are literal and smelling them for myself. And Danny points and there it is. Not scaly, but kinda hide-y. Crocodile face and nasty claws. And I shot it. That bugger is fast and I only graze it. I wanted to use fire - I was sure that fire would be best, but all I had was that canned flame. I clearly need to have a Molotov cocktail on hand when I am hunting.

We all shot it some, and then it mauls Jimmy real good, so we shoot it some more. And it heals. With fire. So much for vulnerable to fire. Then, it runs up, grabs Oz with his jaws (hey, that rhymes. maybe I should start doing some poetry slam to let off steam?) and pulls him into the cesspit. And they all trashing around and he is screamin' to shoot it. But, it was Danny that got the bastard. Oz gets free and Danny goes all Hunger Games on it and shoots it through the eye.

And it turns to stone and sinks. And we lit out of there and Danny patched everyone up and bathed them in antibiotics and downright ruined all his work on me unliking him. Badass.

We can't tell no one that the threat is over and can't prove nothin', either. All we got is a statue with a few bullets and an arrow in it. So, we get out and get hosed off and shower. And shower. And shower some more.

And, then I call Stefan, cuz I don't know what to do no more.

Chapter Five: Possession is 9/10 of the Murder

Is is it better or worse be to dating a guy who doesn’t realize he is dating you than to not date him at all?

I talked to Stefan, and he say go for it. He asked if Danny would respect me and my boundaries and, well, duh. Danny is about the sweetest, most responsible guy ever. Frankly, that is probably why I never noticed him before. He don’t brag, and even when he is being awesome, he all matter-of-fact about it.

So, we start doing coffee. And, the man doesn’t say a thing. I figured if I started paying attention to him and spending time with him, he would realize I was interested in him. Without having to say it, you know. Well, that ain’t working. He is happily drinking lattes and never says or does nothing. I swear, if it weren’t for those two times and that gift, I would wonder. But, damn it, you can’t fake that shit.

I even made him pretend to be my boyfriend - and Lady D upgraded us to fiancees - when scoping out that house.

Oh, wait. Damn, how messed up is it that I am writing about my boy problems when we might have a murderous, possessing spirit floating around?

Okay, so Oz has a friend. And, man, she as much a freak as he is, but she thinks there’s a Something on her block that made her neighbor kill her man and baby. Damn. That’s bad shit. So, she calls him and he calls us and we get involved because she got a chill before it happened and got another chill at another house with a mom, dad, and kid.

So, we make up a plan and act like folks gonna buy a house. We nose around the neighborhood and use that to get into the house. And, the house was live. I mean, the EMF was crazy and while I don’t know shit beyond the packaging, it ain’t normal. But, the whole time, we are playing couple in love and it was so… real.

I am supposed to be looking for ghosts and shit, and I just want to kiss Danny and then it all goes to pot. Danny sees something - I don’t, of course - and Lady D has a fit, and we get very politely kicked out.

And, Lady D found Harvard Lindstrom through his publisher and that woman be scary. She twisted his arm like a pretzel and made him grateful for it. I have never heard the like. I guess that the real difference between her and me. Damn.

Well, we get an address and phone number and we drive over. And HL is paranoid like woah. He got salt, and weird occult shit and made us cut ourselves before he would stop pointing his shotgun at us. I guess "Cuckoos" - maybe changelings? - don’t bleed right. We get some advice and, damn it, Oz is right about staying in at night. At least according to Paranoid HL.

So, he tries to tell us to stop Hunting, that we gonna get killed. Maybe so, but how can we stop? Something has it coming for Rebecca and Dad. So, we say no and he gives us a Hunters FAQ. Then, Danny tells him he saw some shadow and he say shadow means spirit and they are hard. They can be about anything. Demons, they be simple. Throw a little Latin at them, maybe some holy water, and poof! He give us a book and Lady D about drools ‘cause her man wrote it.

So, now we have to figure out what this thing it and what to do about it.

And, I gotta figure out Danny. I think I being stupid, again. I want him to be the vulnerable one. If he asks, I be safe, ‘cause he said he was interested first. But, that man - I would say he a coward, except he crazy brave in a fight. But, he don’t do relationships, or something. So, I guess I have to be the brave one. And, to be fair, he did ask me out. He just did it at the worst time ever.

Okay, so, next time I have a chance, I will ask him out. And make sure he knows it is a date. Yeah. Right. How am I going to do that? Hey, Danny, how would you like to go out to dinner with me so we can find out it we want to be a couple? Do I have to be that obvious?

Demons and Saints and Latin, Oh My!

I think I am starting to see what Harvard meant when he said that we should give up Hunting now. (And when did it become capital-H Hunting?) I ain’t prepared for this. I am feeling increasingly jumpy, the more we do this.

As a child, I was afraid of the dark. I think most of us are, really. It is a place of infinite possibilities. But, I got older, and logic took hold. No, there was no such thing as monsters. There was nothing under the bed, the shadows were just that. The world was orderly and made sense. And, if it didn’t, it just meant I didn’t know something, but it STILL made sense.

After that night, I had trouble with the dark again. I knew that there were human monsters, and I began to avoid the darkness. And, I learned how to kill a human monster. I still didn’t like being out at night, but with a .45 caliber woobie, I could handle it.

Then, the vampires. I knew it was real, but there is a sense of unreality to it. When you kill one and it shrivels up, it clashes with logic and there is still a sense of unreality. Black Betty? Well, I have no issue with ghosts. It ain’t logical, but you always hear the stories, and I would be pissed if I was her, too. And, there was nothing left in the end. The Sewer Beast? It nasty, sure. But, when it died, it turned to stone. And, with all of them, after the initial victims, we were the ones in danger, and we made it out okay.

But, this demon… demons ain’t just folklore. They evil. Demons, and Angels, and Saints - oh my. And God. I be Catholic. I been Baptized, Confirmed, and Eucharized. I even Confessed a time or two. But, it was kinda distant. Mostly for when I die.

But, I just exorcized a real demon. Me, Lady D, the Holy Water, and St. Florian drove it away. But, it weren’t enough. Like usual, the monster was gone and we okay, but the woman - she ain’t okay. Her husband, her baby, they ain’t okay. It don’t feel like a victory.

And the dark is a scary, scary place again. I told Jimmy I ain't afraid of nothing I can shoot, but you can't shoot demons, and you can't shoot the dark.

I rode over to St. Florians. I owe him, and I know it. So, I drop some money in the box, and light the candles, and it don’t feel like enough. I don’t really make stuff, and while I am willing to talk him up, this ain’t something I can spread around. I waited around, feeling safe. Holy Ground. There ain’t no demons in that church.

I wanted to go to confession, but I don’t know what to say. I have so much to talk about - Hunting, my father, Rebecca, Danny - but it is all tangled up. I know I gotta go soon, though. I can’t carry this alone and I think I will break if I try.

I think I will be spending a lot of time at the Church, both for the safety it offers and to try to get to know the priests. Maybe that will help me talk about it. And maybe it won’t. I don’t know.

Clara ripped me a new one. I want to tell her I ain’t a vigilante. I ain’t interested in mortal crime - she can have it. But, she don’t believe me and she gonna lock me away if I try to convince her. It hurts. I value her more and more and I can feel myself losing her.

I am considering going for a PI License. I might provide some insulation and would sure add some more skills. I never thought I would, but times change, and so do I. I don’t know, but maybe.

And Danny. Oh, I fucked up bad. I wanted him to notice me, ask me out again, but he mad at me now and that hurts. Why should he think I would be so cruel? Hurt breeds anger and I probably made it worse on the way to the house, but I just couldn’t stand it anymore.

I talked to Jimmy, trying to understand him, so now Jimmy knows I am crushing on Danny. He said he could talk to him, try to get him to see that I like him, but I think I might just need to take the dive. I had considered just cornering him and kissing him, but now, I am afraid it will just piss him off. That I might have lost him before I ever really had him.

You know, I can talk to Mama about this. This is simple boy-trouble and what Mama doesn’t have something to say about that? Maybe she can help me figure a way out of my mess.

Maybe.