Toccata's Journal

In the same hiding place as her most secret treasures lays a journal - a great risk and a personal necessity. The journal has perhaps three score entries, each from a major point in her life. The first, regarding the Shunning and rescue by The Order of the Broken Mask, sets the pattern for all that follow. The only names used are her own, and they are more about processing than recounting.

I

When I arrived and took my place as Seven Veils Toccata, I told myself that I knew it was temporary. All secrets end, and, eventually, I would be discovered and have to move on, assuming I escaped at all. But, years went by without a single mishap. Perhaps I became complacent, but surely being discovered, however partially, by E should have cured me of that. Yet, once again he has discerned my secrets.

Part of the reason I was attired thus was to ensure that the suspicion never crossed anyone's mind. I disguised my voice, my hair, and spoke but little. Yet, still I spoke. Why, Svanna, did you speak to the person there who knows you best? Why not speak to that priest... But, to him I spoke naught, though that would have been the path of wisdom, as we had scarce been introduced previously.

Perhaps I refrained because he is such an impressive martial artist. I am skilled, of course, but he has advanced beyond me. And so I saw in him an unknown threat and thus revealed myself to E. And, I still don't know how he discerned my identity. That man is simply too clever by half. I suppose I am grateful that he is an honest and upright man.

I don't know if he knows that I know that he knows, and I am not going to ask. Opening that door may lead to questions, and I will not answer them. And, fortunately, we have bigger problems. I am not Guard, I am not a housecarl, yet I still live here, and I have no desire to live under the thumb of The Realm. Something is amiss, and I think they are planning a rat's invasion.

At least remained collected. I carried only my blades, left home my chain, and stayed well away from them. Well, I did until I saw them corner A. I think I might have been mistaken in their intentions, or, I hope I am, but he is a sweet and impressionable boy, and starved for approval. I didn't hear much, but there are few reasons to wave over an impressive archer and make a show of generous brotherhood except to manipulate the emotions of a boy like A.

Still, I am proud of my response. A plan, executed with no notice and carried off flawlessly. Though, the wine-repelling nature of his person was a bit of a let down. And it cost me a strained ankle. But, I snuck up on a Dynast and lied to his face - and got away with it. And I snatched A away from them. And, I made sure he was safe, at least that night. I wish it hadn't been such a blow to his ego, but better depressed then inveigled.

I think I need be ready to disappear without notice. I hope it will be unnecessary, but things could become very unstable, very fast. Still, while Toccata may vanish, I will see this through. Hopefully, the Dynasts will leave and never return, but if they need resisting, I will comply. And, if we fail, and I live... I know not. I am not a guard or a housecarl. My oaths are not to this city and my cause is not its defense.

Then again, the stories one hears of the Realm, of the jaded lifestyle of Dynasts, of the actions they tolerate or endorse... I suppose one should not be surprised. They are Dynasts, told from the cradle that they are the living embodiment of moral rectitude. How convenient, to have a religion tell you that you are inherently enlightened and that all about must follow your example with proper humility, for the good of Creation and themselves, of course.

If they take the city, there may be even more work for me than usual, though Toccata will likely be unavailable. Still, I am comfortable in the Shadows, and I may be able to do much before they find and eliminate me. And, after all, what little life and happiness I have built for myself lies within these walls, and I will not relinquish it lightly.

II

It is always frustrating to have one’s wiles be so entirely transparent. It is an odd thing, but when I was researching Smuggler Sven, I ran into E, who was doing the same, and a priest I have had little interaction with – R, I think. He is a most skillful martial artist, and I have reason to know. When I found them, they were being engaged by a small horde of Sven’s minions. Naturally, I intervened. The fight was short and ended with the capture of one of their number.

Because we had reason to believe that the Guard were compromised by bribery from Sven, E did not wish to take him back to the barracks for questioning, so they took him to ____ instead and I followed via rooftop. We found A and J. They were invited to join us and we found an isolated room. Somewhere around this time, they began calling me Slum Ninja. How… evocative.

A tries the usual pathways to information, in his case threatening him with his father. The man – Olaf – was not impressed. Seems he was more afraid of something else. I slide over to E and suggested he mention Sven. That changed things. E did a remarkably good job. Instead of threatening the man, he simply told him that he would make sure Sven ‘knew’ that he talked to us if he didn’t talk to us. This was simply too much. He caved, on the condition of protection.

We also searched the bodies and found a map hidden in a shoe. It was written in a language I don’t know – Low Realm, I hear – and seems to be of the tunnels beneath the city. Also, each had a scar in the same place. We think they may have been Realm Legionnaires. They decide to tell the king about it, including the information that representatives of the Realm are inbound. As I leave, I intercept a look from E and realize he has recognized me. I had done my best to disguise my voice, but mannerisms and speech take more work and preparation to disguise, and I had not prepared for it with this persona. Very well, that is the second time he has seen through me in some way. I have to respect that, even if it is embarrassing.

I was not there for the kind’s debriefing – Slum Ninja does not want royal scrutiny. However, Toccata was invited to the welcoming feast. I didn’t dare bring any of my usual, specialized equipment. I know how capable Dragon-Blooded can be, and if Eetu can see through me, so can they.

They are a diverse bunch. Some seem genuine enough, but one of them makes my blood run cold. I will stay away from Hanbi, thank you. I am keeping an eye out when I notice A has been cornered by Sesus Tobin. Thinking back, I am embarrassed, but I was sure that ST was going to kill him right there. Some kind of dramatic introduction, perhaps. Or, maybe just jitters from that Hanbi fellow.

The next part I am quite proud of, even if it was unnecessary. I, Seven Veils Toccata, mortal woman, pulled the wool over an Exalts eyes. It was a classic maneuver, in many ways, with me approaching from behind, twisting my ankle (and that hurt, as I didn’t dare try to fake that!) and spilling wine all over A and ST. A most palpable hit. Of course, the Exalt shed wine like a lecher sheds clothing, but A had to make his excuses and change. E, who followed me, and I went along. ST wasn’t threatening him, he was schmoozing. I know A is frustrated at the lack of appreciation for his skill in archery – I am frustrated for him – and one of the Realm DB carried a jade power bow. It must be balm for his lonely soul to be told by powerful and interesting people that his skills are worthy and noble. I reminded him that the people stroking his underinflated ego are Realm Dynasts, which is synonymous with manipulators of the first order, and he calms down. More, he deflates again, which I regret. I remind him that the honor of archery does not diminish simply because manipulators recognize it. We all stay together. I hope they envision an orgy, but it is more like a sleepover, though I sleep little, as I am still concerned we will have assassins forthcoming. None arrive, though, and I blush as I finally slumber.

The following week is busy. I try to investigate what I can, but the Dynasts are taking a lot of time, and I don’t read Low Realm. I don’t personally have any meaningful interactions with our guests until the 5th day. A slimy Guildsman, Greyeye, is holding a gathering and I am contracted to look pretty next to a most illustrious noble. It is one of my favorite jobs, as I do not need to be too alluring, lest I overshadow my patron, and means I can meet many people once he has moved on.

This time, though I wish I could have declined. I had my first personal interactions with a Dynast, and I had the great fortune to catch the eye of that terrifying Hanbi. I think he or another of his brotherhood (are they a brotherhood? I should not assume that) must be a sorcerer, because his arm candy was a neomah. She was painfully attractive, and I saw her alter her form to suit the noble he handed her off to. Well, JA got some supernatural sex that night, which is something to look into later, but I am more worried about the supernatural sex that is headed my way.

Hanbi approached me like a stallion does a mare in heat – confident in his everything and sure I must be thrilled to have caught his eye. I do my best demure flattery act, and manage to go home alone. He is even more terrifying in person than from across the room. I don’t think he sees me as a person. That isn’t too rare, but I don’t think he sees any of his as people. I think we are props in his dynastic world, there for his use, abuse, or neglect, as he sees fit. I am glad they are leaving soon.

III

I heard about an altercation at the temples. It seems the DB were getting their Immaculate on, knocking down statues and preaching their philosophy. R debated with them, and all the priests opposed them in that ineffably priestly way, until they left. They lost of a lot of ground in that escapade. I wonder what they were trying to achieve. While I am sure they are adherents to that philosophy, none of them struck me as foaming zealots.

I am confused. “Slum Ninja,” as my new brotherhood (Circle? Is that was F was calling it?) so deftly named her, was never intended for any ongoing or intense human interaction. I never conceptualized her that way. Toccata was, but she was never intended to encompass all of Slum Ninja. Or, all of me.

Now, I am unsure who is talking or is being addressed by my Circle (I like that term, I will use it, I think) and they are noticing the breakdown. But, how can I explain without explaining it to them? I haven’t been Svana Ardissdottir since mother Shunned me. My family has cast me out and they undoubtedly think I am dead. And, since mother named me, and my family raised me, how can I be Svana when they have killed her?

But, I feel that I am lying to them, and they deserve better. Will they understand without my complete history? I am unsure that I understand it myself! When I address myself as Svana it has long seemed to be like one talking to an ancestor – perhaps they are here, perhaps they are not, but they are not what they once were, regardless.

Svana… should I bring her out? I don’t wish to. She is so different from Toccata that it may confuse my Circle, even alienate them, if I do. But, Toccata may break under the strain and she is too useful for that.

Do I need to create a new persona? But, if I do, won’t that persona, encompassing Toccata and Slum Ninja and, of necessity, all my abilities, simply be a replacement for Svana? And, I never intended to be anyone other than me in my fullness.

I wish we were not needed in Monument. I believe I have the power to expose Ari and bring him down. I may even be able to reclaim my name and my honor, but I cannot leave now. The only home I have had since I left The Gilded Citadel is Monument, and A and E are as close to family as I now have.

Besides, I am too angry to let the Realm have Monument. Typical Dynastic arrogance, assuming they know best and that all must be delighted to serve them, the might host of the Realm. And, I will not leave Monument, or its people, under the aegis of that Mnemon Hanbi. I have met no one who is as cold and cruel as he since Ari was made plain in my sight. I will protect Monument from him.

IV

When you have multiple problems, they may solve themselves. I needed to have an identity other than Toccata to present to my (I think I will call it) Circle, and I also needed a disguise for my reconnaissance in Monument. Slum Ninja has been refined and now I have Shadowmask. Shadowmask is a local girl, daughter of weavers killed in a fire that was deliberately set, but was not meant for them. This injustice combined with the vagaries of fate drove her to don her calavera and purple cloak. She stalks the shadows of the Smokes. She accepts protection money, but won't punish those who do not pay. Note: I need to be seen doing this, and plant some rumors about her, as well. Verisimilitude is key to a believable lie.

In addition to have an identity to present to the Circle (I do like that - it has a sense of eternity and lacks an automatic hierarchy), I needed one to present to the Guard. E, A, and F successfully extracted loyal Guards and we are now housing them with us. J set the place to rights - I had never seen such a thing, but I have heard of the powers of the Exalted. Still, it was always something hard earned, and we are but days old...

Regardless, I needed a persona to present to them. One cannot be unidentified, and I was determined to keep Toccata untouched by this new Exaltation. (Although, it may be necessary at some time to come out. I wonder if I can... empower my disguises the way I can empower my blades?) I hope I can convince the others to take on a persona, as well. We don't need the Wyld Hunt hounding us out. The longer we can keep the secret of our newfound power, the better we can use it. It is difficult to counter something you have not identified or even considered.

We are planning an assault on the Quarry. It is a prison for common prisoners, and should be easier to attack. Also, we want to free them while they are still prisoners. If we try to recruit hem after they are freed, they will have their regular lives to lose again and a sense of gratitude for being released. We cannot allow a new normal to change their feelings. We hope to storm the Quarry before the fortifications are complete. It will be our first real challenge. I think we are unusually strong for our "youth" but until we are tested by DB, I cannot really know.